shivers

i'm trying really hard not to dread going back to school on the 14th, but i can't help it. i never liked isu and i am trying to piece together all the reasons of how and why i ended up there. i think i've finally figured it out. it seems that throughout my life i've always been told what to do and how to do it and when it came down to something that was going to directly affect my future, i froze. i listened to what everyone else was telling me to do, and here i am, unhappy.

happiness isn't worth jeopardizing just to make someone else happy or to win their approval.

next year i'm starting over. i'm going to niu in hopes of fulfilling my urge to complete an art degree. i'm not exactly sure what i want to do with it, but along the way i'll figure it out. now is my time to find out what i really want in life and to listen to my heart.

i'm happy though because i got an a in both of my english classes, a b in biology, and a b in spanish. i ended up passing math which means i got credit for the class. hoorah for 16 hours!

_________________


on another note, john mayer's solos are orgasmic. have you ever listened to a song and it made you shiver? well that's how i feel whenever i hear john mayer. that sexy beast. watch this vid and tell me it didn't send chills up and down your spine during his solo (which starts at like, 5 minutes).

greatwhitecity: did you see his face

sppppppppspeaker: the way he shivers that guitar

sppppppppspeaker: god i want him to use his fingers on me like he does with his guitar

sppppppppspeaker: lmao

greatwhitecity: hahahhahahah

greatwhitecity: me too



yum, okay, now it's time to watch that video 245348750283 times over again.

hello

well good fucking morning to you, the world of blogging.

i never thought blogging would be cool, or interesting,

but you are.

and i have found to my pleasure, that it is actually quite intriguing. and interesting. and fun. and eye-opening.

thank you for welcoming me.

so it's winter. finally it feels like it. since being at school three hours south from home, the weather seems to be more and more fucked up. it's always warmer, windier, and shittier there. we got a wimpy inch of snow right before i left for christmas vacation. everyone was in amazement, playing, frolicking if you will, in the snow. throwing snow balls and making snow angels. fuck that. but still, it was very entertaining to get something other than rain and wind.

being home has been great - nothing school wise is weighing on my mind, other than the fact that school will steal away break from me in less than a month. well fuck. but yeah, it's been snowing and it's been great. i really don't mind winter anymore, which is probably because i actually wear a winter jacket, scarf, and gloves. oh yeah, and shitty boots from target. but it keeps me warm, so it works for me. it's better than wearing a sweatshirt and stupid flats that i used to wear in high school. no one wears winter coats in high school.

mmmmm, home. i love you. and i love all the people you bring back. there are so many people i love from this place. ape daddy, lisa, jenna, jess and brandon. all my coworkers. my mom and my dad. my dick and your dick. it's great. happiness. smiles. warmth. holidays. music. hot chocolate. snow. shitty roads due to the aforementioned. mistletoe. nysnc christmas cd. hearing valerie come on while im at work (by ma girl amy winehouse). mmmm yes. what else do i love. i love kittens. oh, and maddie. i love clouds. i love dicks. i love laying in bed at night, all bundled up in sweats and blankets. i love being in my own room in my own bed. hello full size bed. it's really wonderful.

but now it's time to dream of even more wonderful things.

like dicks.

and unicorns.

and stupid shit like that.

goodnight.